During a Super Soul Sunday interview with Oprah, Dr. Brene Brown had this to say about joy; “When we lose our tolerance to be vulnerable, joy becomes foreboding. So what we do in moments of joyfulness is we try to beat vulnerability to the punch.”
I consider myself a joyful person in general. I’m not the type of person that is joyfully boisterous, but I think that I maintain a consistent level of joy from day to day. For the past couple of months I have felt less consistent. I am in a loving relationship, I have a steady paying job and I’m healthy. I wouldn’t say that I’m unhappy; it feels more like discontent or a lack of appreciation for what IS in my life. This feeling isn’t a skin that I wear every day, its more like a gust of cold wind that will wash over me and stay with me until the warmth of contentment returns to me.
I have no delusion that these feelings are under my control and how I see my circumstances is how I will respond to them. Recently I have been seeing my circumstances as a barrier. I’m currently working for Norwegian Cruise Lines in a production of “Rock of Ages”. In doing the show I got to work with the original Broadway creative team, which is not something that happens with the entertainment for cruise ships. I will have six months of continuous work that pays very well and I get to travel for free. I’ve been to Bermuda, the Bahamas and will also go to parts of the Southern Caribbean before my contract is over at the end of March 2014. This isn’t a bad set of circumstances by any means. And still something is missing for me and I don’t know what it is. Maybe this experience is for me to learn that working on a cruise ship may not be something I’m inspired to do anymore. This ship contract will be my sixth over the last ten years.